Loving you.....................

I do not know how to express the conflicting emotions that have surged like a storm through my heart all night long...

This feeling of being both scared and at peace, of having both butterflies and a sense of calm, is a feeling that I have dreamt about...

When my sky turns grey and the thunder starts to roll as if tomorrow will never come then all i can do is think of you n get a feeling of protection ......

As the days continue to pass, my love continues to grow, I never thought I had the capacity to love anybody as much as I love you. Money,Home, Distance..etc etc, none of these things matters anymore yet, my love for you continues to mature, growing beyond the realm of my heart.....

It seems that you have become the fiber of my soul, the very reason for my existence!!!

Lovin you is such a beautiful feeling to mind and soul..Love you forever!!

Behind Those Mysterious Eyes!!!

Roar of the ocean, windy weather touching your mind and soul, Starry dark night..celebration all around perfect moment I see those deep brown eyes which measures the depth of the ocean ,I found floating inside as I sat to watch them in the deep silence of the dark night of the new season. The depth was so innate and my heart craves for more details..Our eyes met and I am completely engrossed. They took my breath away and I wished the moment retains. We were quite and still,but my desire to get lost grows in that very moment. I was “smitten “and still “smitten” behind those mysterious brown eyes!!

State of Mind : Indifinable!!

It’s been a while the infinite girl (being me) has been away from her blog. Well.. I’ve been busy with work and was so much in to it, and I couldn’t find a quality time to sit, settle and write something good, I guess. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things in the past few weeks and it jus doesn’t stop. My mind never rest I try to stop but I don’t see a break to halt it……you feel exhausted, lost , insomniac ,tired but your mind jus doesn’t hear your heart. ….
Life is always like a range of mountains. There’s a climb.. and then again, there’s a slope. Sometimes the climbs are higher; you have to try harder to get to the top. Sometimes it’s smooth and you just don’t have to put any effort at all to get to the top. The same goes with the slopes. There are steep slopes and yet again, there are smooth ones.
I guess iam not making sense…. Its jus a stage where I don’t want to make sense define things draw boundaries …jus want to flow without a direction. I like the things which are not known. The moment you try to define it it screws it all…So let it be indefinable!!!

Making Choice To Move On...

Getting emotinally attached is like a fish with out water, its like a slow poision,like a hungry wild animal which eats u out part by part! With the time u get immune to the pain, like a person in last stages of cancer. Its like a blind human.

I hated that part of my life. Every day waking up in the morning and feeling lost, as if there is no today and no tomorrow, the worst fears, insecurities, the darkness would cloud up every morning whr you see only darkness outside your window. Over a period of time i got immune to these feelings, became numb and reached to the stage where i dont feel my heartbeats anymore! its like living dead, dont know who am i, where i belong to..
Its all about " game of mind" the " mind games". Mind is like a mad moneky.... it can go to any extent......... its infinite!!

One morning, i woke up and realised that " life is not a complicated bitch". Its about the choice we make! Once we make a choice everything(mad mind, fear, insecurities, anger etc) can be controlled.
So i made a choice!!! and Moved on....................Still moving on...

Making a choice to move on!!

Emotions are

In my dreams.................!!!

Many of my dreams center around conversation or some hidden obstruct of consciousness or of those infinite hopes and expectations of life!Some of them are very frustrating and some are soothing! Some time just wonder whether those dreams are directly proportional to the conscious mind!

Some wake me up in the middle of the night scares shit out of me and some of them are so soothing that I would just want to wander in that dream world and never get back to the reality!

Some of the dreams are reflections of the reality! Most of them are plausible and some are utter nonsense!

Thinking of my dreams when I wake up, Its a task to figure out whether they are cognizant, unintentional or insensible mind!!!!

Disconnected thoughts!!

When I woke up today I feel there is nothing to think.. Nothing to say! I Could have lot many things to say about different things ( trust, fear faith etc etc) . I don want to say any of those , sitting here staring at the screen with a music playing “ people are strange” , I realize the attempt to stop, the need to feel numb , the need to free myself from the constraint of being me.

Thinking is something we all do but I can say with modesty that I am a over thinker, it as always been part of me. The thing is lately I hate this, the curse of not being able to stop, the destine (fado) of being bound to who I am. And sitting here I figure through the thing I am bashing (my thoughts) that this is the problem, I feel so stuck to who I am, that the only reacting is numbness, at least I stop, all the things are still here, I know them, I can see them, but by standing still it is as if they aren't there anymore for the real world. If nobody sees it, is it really there?

It is always about the balance between what works and what you allow yourself to do, conscious is a dam thing at times, but I always give a chance to the unexpected, if it appears. (Or so I tell myself: P)
Anyways might be going into these abstract thinking one of these days, but I am afraid of not being able to make sense of them in written text, still I’ll try, as I’ve been trying…