Making a choice to move on!!

Emotions are

In my dreams.................!!!

Many of my dreams center around conversation or some hidden obstruct of consciousness or of those infinite hopes and expectations of life!Some of them are very frustrating and some are soothing! Some time just wonder whether those dreams are directly proportional to the conscious mind!

Some wake me up in the middle of the night scares shit out of me and some of them are so soothing that I would just want to wander in that dream world and never get back to the reality!

Some of the dreams are reflections of the reality! Most of them are plausible and some are utter nonsense!

Thinking of my dreams when I wake up, Its a task to figure out whether they are cognizant, unintentional or insensible mind!!!!

Disconnected thoughts!!

When I woke up today I feel there is nothing to think.. Nothing to say! I Could have lot many things to say about different things ( trust, fear faith etc etc) . I don want to say any of those , sitting here staring at the screen with a music playing “ people are strange” , I realize the attempt to stop, the need to feel numb , the need to free myself from the constraint of being me.

Thinking is something we all do but I can say with modesty that I am a over thinker, it as always been part of me. The thing is lately I hate this, the curse of not being able to stop, the destine (fado) of being bound to who I am. And sitting here I figure through the thing I am bashing (my thoughts) that this is the problem, I feel so stuck to who I am, that the only reacting is numbness, at least I stop, all the things are still here, I know them, I can see them, but by standing still it is as if they aren't there anymore for the real world. If nobody sees it, is it really there?

It is always about the balance between what works and what you allow yourself to do, conscious is a dam thing at times, but I always give a chance to the unexpected, if it appears. (Or so I tell myself: P)
Anyways might be going into these abstract thinking one of these days, but I am afraid of not being able to make sense of them in written text, still I’ll try, as I’ve been trying…

Life is uncertain!!

Life is full of surprises and uncertainties; You don’t know what is next in it for you…. Never goes the way you plan it but we still plan for today and for better tomorrows….

I never knew that I have some money in it for me today. 5 months back when my friend started a car selling business I just help to do some marketing on good will. All I did was to spread the news out…. Nothing great!! But today when my phone rang from an unknown number (I keep changing my handset quite often hence mostly all numbers are unknown numbers ;)) I initially decided to not to pick it up as I didn’t have patience for one of those personal loans, credit card selling agencies calling and irritating to the core and u shouting on top of your voice to say “you are not interested”blah blah blah!!! I was not really in the mood to encourage such things… but as my instincts always go right… finally I decided to pick it up, It was from a same frd who started the car business offering me to come and collect the check…. had no clue what was it all about but after 20 min of conversation I was kinda overwhelmed by the thought of getting paid for doing nothing… some times when you least expect something… things fall on your way… So I started the day with the happy note…

There goes another one…..

After 10 days of his INDIA visit, one of my special and close friend decided to take some time out to catch up with me for a coffee… I was kinda excited as I was looking forward for this meeting since long… As we stay two ends of the straight line, we decided to meet up at the midpoint. In Mumbai travelling in peak hours( morning around 8:00 AM to 10 : 00 AM)and evening around 6:00 PM to 9 :00 PM) is a real challenge,esp by road. Hence I decided to take a train but later when I came to know that he is driving down. Calculating the probabilities of time and distance considering the Mumbai peak hour traffic, I decided to go by road too, thinking we both can reach almost at the same time. With all these distance, time calculations, we decided to meet at one of the coffee house at the midpoint. Surprisingly I didn’t get peak hours traffic and ended up reaching early… I decided to stick around in the coffee house and wait. Waited for 2 long hours getting continuous updates from my friend that he is stuck in the traffic and would take longer time than expected….

Suddenly I get a call to know that he got hit from the taxi guy from the rear end and the situation is little chaos….It would take at least two hours to clear up the mess. Finally I decided to head back home after sipping some mint teas with the thought how life can be so uncertain…..

I am sure there are so many such incidents happening in every one’s life…. Sometimes I wonder about these uncertainties in life…. You would never know what will be next. .. That doesn’t stop moving on with life, taking as it comes….. It offers some happiness, some sadness, some disappointments…still we never stop planning for the next day!!

Life is uncertain!!

New Year Fever!!

December month is the month which brings lot of celebrations all around. People start making new plans for x-mas, new year celebrations.Its the time for new hopes for the future and insight for the past achievements and pitfalls..

The new year fever starts from the 3rd week of december where people start planning how they want to welcome the new year, some plans to sit at home, enjoy the "big fat dinner" with family, some plans to go and party hard with friends n special friends etc etc..

These days it has become so commercial..... its all about money honey!! the value of celebrating with loved one's has lost its importance..

I used to do the same thing like others do in December some years back. We friends used to plan for 31st night so much.. which place to go and dance the night away to the glory, but from past few years i donn feel like doing things like that.Last year on 31st night, i went out to have a coffee at midnight....Trust me it had given me more happiness than spending huge amount of money to buy a night and realizing you don't even have place to stand...

Its 23rd , Iam still not getting tht excitement nor feverish about the 31st night celebration. Things change over a period of time.. may be its due to the grey hairs multiplyin like cancer cells or may be you get tired of doing the same thing over and again or may be its jus tht u decide to welcome every year doing something different..

Some time you plan so much for the day and you end up doing nothing.

Why do we have to have a spl days like father's day, mothers day, valentine's day, New Years...Is it because we want to copy west people to show we r not any less or is it just that people don't have time to spend with loved ones for few hours a day??

For me every day is a new beginig.. there are so much to look for, learn from and to give to in day to day life... why waste time on naming some day n celebrating!!

for rest of you all... I wish you a very prosperous new year and a great success!

Walk to Remember!!!

Weekend's are usually lazy.. Just do things your way.One of such weekends, I decided to go n explore the nightlife of mumbai.. we frends do it quite often!! get out at mid night and come back by whee hours and sleep like a dog.. This was one of such weekends where we went out to party hard..
I came back home at around 4 Am and was damn sleepy!! I freshned up and was about to sleep.. Their goes my phone ringing... ,Wondering who the hell is this to call me at this hour and thinking may be one of those insomiac who cant sleep at night or of those who believe in work hard party hard over the weekend, i decided to answer the call..I say "Hell O" in sleepy "grumpy" voice.. and there comes the reply" what are you doing? can you get out??"there was something in that voice whic h made me not to react but to get ready and get out..never done such things in life.. Standin all alone on the road at early morning and searchin for an auto... facin people's wierd look...Hmm! it was jus a gut feeling that i need to somehow meet this guy! With that note feeling akward, i reach the destination...we headed to the airport and had early morning coffee at Leela's. It was an awesome fresh breezy morning at the airport. We decided to talk a walk, There was no direction,we were jus walkin holdin each other's hand, like "refugees" like "new in town" .The cool breezy wind hittin your face, mind and soul... ..It was silent but the silence had so much to offer, feel and fall.......we walked from dawn to sunrise...Wow(never done things like this before)
walk to remember....!!!